Darth Vader robs a New York Bank the Empire Strikes Back?
We all knew Darth Vader was a piece of work but it seems that the Jedi master we all love to hate is not quite done. Despite the defeat of the Empire, Darth Vader seems to be plotting his revenge, and who knows after he knocks off a few more banks in the New York surrounds, for start up capital, perhaps the glow of light sabres may fill theatres across our great planet once more.
“Yes, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice.” Yoda
I read once that George Lucas called the combination of all 6 Star Wars movies the Tragedy of Darth Vader. It seems the story has taken a practically operatic twist. Darth Vader is back and has been reduced to petty crime to fund his revenge for the defeat of the empire.
The news that Darth Vader was back to his evil ways was met with relief by storm troopers everywhere, struggling to deal with unemployment during the current economic downturn. Reports that a storm trooper had a tie fighter idling outside the bank while the crime was committed has not yet been established with any degree of certainty. However eye witnesses have claimed Darth had an accomplice who matches the mug shot of the individual pictured right.
The public are encouraged to proceed with caution and not attempt to capture anyone matching the description of either the accomplice or the bank robber. They are armed with the force and and firearms and may use them if cornered. Just ask Han, Luke and Leia.
Vader stormed into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. on the 22nd of July 2010. Despite Darth Vader’s proficiency in The Force he chose to bring a hand gun along presumably for crowd control. People don’t react in fear and awe to a man in a shiny helmet and cloak like the used it would appear. Thankfully the teller did not resist Darth Vader and handed over all the cash in her drawer. Vader was described by eye witnesses as 6 foot 2 inches tall and wearing camouflage pants along with his traditional helmet and cloak.
Who knows how this drama will unfold but hopefully, someone will intervene before we’re subjected to yet another disappointing sequel to the greatest movie franchise in history.