Death Star Blasts Enterprise Into Oblivion Over San Francisco

In a battle between the two franchises that took place over the city of San Francisco in a CG universe, the Empire pulverized USS Enterprise. If you’re a trekkie, I’m sorry for your loss!

Thinking of it, the title of this post looks like your everyday thread on IMDB, where first-class trolls give away the most intricate details. I should tell you what all this is about before you accuse me as well of spoiling everything. In 2009, a group of dedicated sci-fi fans (I’m not going to call them trekkies or Star Wars fans simply because I love both) put up a video of the Death Star destroying USS Enterprise. You can watch the old video here, but before you do, you should know that the quality characterizes the year it’s been released in. The following video, however, is a longer and better version, fact that makes the story more credible, to say the least.

All this is CG, and even though it could have been better, it still looks pretty awesome. USS Enterprise is shown hovering over San Francisco undisturbed, at first. An AT-AT attempts to destroy it with lasers, and had the Star Trek iconic starship been a living being, it would have taken all this as a tickle attack.

We get to see the Death Star for half a second, but quickly after that the camera moves inside, where worried people stare out the window, hoping that no harm will come to them. Next, we see Alexis Cozombolidis (are there many Latinas with Greek names in Frisco?) the news presenter of KSTH (that’s a mock news channel, if you were ready to scan the telly for it) wonders if the starship is here for rogue whaling. One of the people at the window turns to the camera to say something that cracked me up: “Definitely Japanese!”

I expected USS Enterprise to be more bright at dusk. On the second day, the Star Destroyer is shown attacking the starship of the United Federation of Planets. The super-laser of the former must have had a greater impact on its target than the laser of the AT-AT. The cameraman approaches some Stormtroopers, but is told to stay away and even shot at. Sirens are turned on and the Death Star delivers the final hit. The Stormtroopers congratulate each other as if they had been the ones pushing the red button, but this isn’t the end of it. One of the final shots is of the Enterprise crew materializing nearby. Crew, set your phasers to kill and show those white Emperial scums what trekkies are all about!


If you liked this post, please check the Star Wars Death Star cake (which makes Eddie Izzard’s Cake or Death rather pointless, since it combines the two) and the fully operational Death Star POV globe.