LASER stands for “Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation,” but we all know it really stands for cool. If you had one of these laser-packed items in school or at home, you were the coolest kid on the block.
10. The Laser Pen
Used to chase cats and annoy teachers. If you’ve got a good pen, it actually contains a laser diode instead of a light-emitting diode. Yes, that’s right, you were a fourth grader and they gave you an actual laser to swing around. It was like you were little Luke Skywalker or something, at least until the cat got mad and ran away.
9. The Laser Portrait Background
Technically, not a laser. Still, you looked pretty sweet with all those painted beams of light zig-zagging behind your head. If you can dig up a picture of yourself in front of a laser background, send it in to LaserPortraits.net to showcase in the gallery.
8. The Laser Printer
How excited were you when your family got a laser printer? No more dot matrix grinding, and dang were those images sharp. Laser printers, unlike laser yearbook portraits, are still around, due to the fact that they are extremely durable and reliable, and also due to the fact that they use actual lasers to get that ink on the paper. Dust your printer off or find Brother toner cartridges: it’s time to print a picture of a laser on a laser printer.
7. The Laser Light Show
A staple of amusement parks in the 1990s and still a popular family-friendly entertainment today, the laser light show takes everyone’s favorite beam of light and adds music. Did you know that laser light shows have actually been around since the 1970s? The next time you watch a laser light show and think “wow, that’s so futuristic,” remember that you’re oohing and aahing over technology that is 40 years old.
6. The Laserdisc
To quote the one-and-only Strong Bad: “Whatever happened to the laserdisc?” No, seriously. What happened? Also: did you ever see one of these outside a school classroom? If your family owned a laserdisc player in addition to a VHS player, please tell us — and send pictures!
5. Lazer Tag
Lazer Tag contains zero lasers, as should be obvious because they had to change the spelling to include the totally radical letter Z. Since real laser guns would blind you, lazer tag uses infrared light instead. It’s still way cooler than paintball.
4. Cyclops’ Laser Visor
Let’s all argue about whether Cyclops actually shot lasers, or whether this particular X-Men mutant shot optic beams or some other type of light that wasn’t a laser. Either way, they called the associated toy a “lasor visor,” and if you had one, you were awesome.
3. Raph, The Space Cadet With Laser Gun
If you managed to hang on to this 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure, it would be worth about $20. Better keep it for a few more years. Still, you have to admit it’s pretty sweet. Part of the “Disguised Turtles” series, this exclusive figure put Raphael in a spacesuit and gave him a laser gun. The Foot clan didn’t stand a chance.
2. The Laser Attack Game
This amazing board game uses simple beams of light instead of lasers, but when you were a kid, it didn’t matter. All you knew was that those beams of light were attacking, and you had to attack back or your kid brother would win the game again.
1. The CD
Wait, what was that? Afraid our number-one laser-packed item isn’t that cool? I’ll tell you what’s cool: taking your Discman to school, playing Myst on your Mac, and loading yet another Final Fantasy VII cutscene. (Watch out, Aeris!!!)
You know what makes CD players and CD drives run? Bet you don’t. But I’m sure you can guess by now: LASERS.
