In most movie sagas, people usually cheer for the good guys over the bad ones… but just why do we like the Dark Side from the Star Wars movies so much? Fans know that Jedis stand for the good and just, want to bring peace to the galaxy, and all that, yet the Dark Side attracts us. You might be wondering why is that? Well, why wouldn’t it? The Dark Side is just awesome, and asking if you prefer the Dark or Light side is akin to asking if you prefer the Pope or Mick Jagger. If you happen to need some reasons to finally decide your true allegiance when it comes to the Force, well, we’ve compiled some strong arguments for you.
If our dear readers are ready for this, this is Walyou’s 8 reasons on why the Dark Side rules. Rock on!
1. Being Bad is Good
You know what we hate about Jedis? They can’t stop talking and being self-righteous, about how they don’t kill people, don’t terrorize planets, don’t rule with an iron fist and how they defend democracy. They think they’re better than everyone, but yet, keep judging “oh, I see you’re going to the Dark Side, shame on you!”. With Siths there’s none of that going on, they want to rule everyone the same, no matter their race, background or religion. That’s real equality right there!
2. Everyone Looks Good in Black
James Hetfield, Billy Joel, Slash, Batman, what do they all have in common? Well, that they look great in black, obviously. Say what you will about the Dark Side, but it’s definitely the classiest out of the two. While the Light side wears horrible cream/brown outfits, the Dark Side always looked cleaner and more polished, like real rock stars. The Siths know how to dress for success, and it’s no wonder they are the ones ruling the galaxy. I mean, have you seen what Obi Wan was wearing and where he was living in Tatooine? Even Luke understood that black is best, although it took him 2 movies and some heavy flirting with the Dark Side to realize it.
3. We Would Do Anything To Avoid a Life of Asceticism
Speaking of things Jedi do, being a Jedi pretty much implies you don’t get to do anything fun. The Jedi doctrine is the doctrine of the do nots: Forget the drinking, the women, playing cards, or going to that Rolling Stones concert. So while Yoda is living a swamp, meditating all day long while watching the trees, Vader drives by in his new ride, the Death Star, blowing up a couple planets just because he can. We’re sure that he also ate bacon, drank beer with Boba Fett, got all the Coruscant girls and partied hard like a boss. Go Vader.
4. Force Choke in Rap Battles
Another thing Darth Vader has going on for him are his rhymes, we’d like to think. If someone happened to not like his flow or try to slam him in another song, that’s where the Force chokes comes in. Dark Side users get to say things like “I find your lack of flow… disturbing” while the Storm Troopers do some kickass break dance and paint graffiti over some sick beats. Man, seriously, we can’t wait to hear that Palpatine-Vader collaboration album. Neither East nor West Side… Dark Side.
5. Easily Replaceable Body Parts
Title says it all. Some people get surgery for cosmetic reasons, Siths do for the kickass reasons. Say you are torturing and killing people and happened to lose a limb because, you know, your best friend and mentor chopped it and left you to burn and die in a planet made mostly of lava (everyday stuff), that’s not a problem. You get to replace limbs just like people replace their underwear. And sure, Luke might have replaced one limb in Episode V, but what’s a hand compared to your entire visible body?
6. The Dark Side is More Mysterious
There’s a component of mystery to being a Sith that makes them inherently kickass, telling their teachers they’d rather do things their way, and actually pursuing what they want instead of just paying tribute to the Force without doing anything with it. And seriously, who do you think the girls are gonna go for? The boring goody-two-shoes, or the kickass guy who controls the empire? The ladies like mistery, power, and adventure, pretty much the definition of a Sith Lord. Sure, you might have to deal with some Rebel scum trying to destroy your rides every once in a while, but other than that, it’s all smooth sailing.
7. The Dark Side has the Best Catchphrases
You don’t agree? Well, you don’t know the power of the Dark Side. We find your lack of faith disturbing, really. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of these catchphrases. We were gonna keep naming them, but we have altered the deal. Pray we don’t alter it any further. Seriously, while most quotable Jedi phrases don’t go above the level of writing found on fortune cookies (“Do or do not! There is no try!”), the quotable Sith phrases are just badass and a huge part of the reason we enjoy scenes with Darth Vader in them so damn much.
8. Just The Ass-Kicking, None Of The Silly Prophecies
So, basically, we’ve established throughout this whole page how the Siths are just better than the Jedis, but there’s one more final point we’d like to make: Siths don’t care about wrong or right, don’t have silly prophecies, and everything (even the whole “bringing people back from the dead” thing) depends just on how much ass you can kick (all right, and something about your Midichlorian count). The Jedi prophecies about bringing balance to the Force just sound silly in comparison, and the Siths’ philosophy is just… so much more rewarding.
We definitely know where our allegiance is at this point. How about you, readers? Feel free to share in the comments section.