We know that you’re wild, but have a soft spot for art, so this might just catch your fancy thanks to its impressive looks and nature references.
French sculptor François-Xavier Lalanne (1927-2008) had the greatest idea ever: find the middle point between something being artsy and useful (“to bring the notion of usefulness to sculpture and to demystify art”, which he regarded as “a funhouse rather than a cathedral”). Hence, he made a bunch of metal hippopotamus figures with built-in compartments. This one in particular, opens up to reveal bar. Aaaaw yeah. Now this is our type of art.