Smart Pajamas Talk Children Into Sleeping

Sit back and relax! You no longer have to tell your kids bedtime stories. That’s the job of the smart pajamas you’ve just bought. Before you know it, the social services will be knockin’ at your door and you’ll prolly end up in jail.

At least that’s what should happen to parents who neglect their children and let gadgets decide the fate of the little ones. It’s a good thing that technology solves many of our problems and various gadgets can successfully replace humans in certain activities, but I’m pretty sure that telling bedtime stories isn’t among them. In fact, hearing your voice will tighten the connection between you two (or three, or more, if you’ve had twins). Would you rather have your kid grow up with sweet memories of a robotic voice reading such creepy stories as Hansel and Gretel or Snow White? I’m talking about the original versions, of course, not the ones that are known by most people and that later got turned into Hollywood pieces of… action.

Back to the Smart PJs in question, though. I used capital letters because that is actually how the manufacturer is planning to call them. Besides the problem that I mentioned above quite subtly, there is also one concerning the way these PJs are used. According to the manufacturer, each pair comes with a series of dot patterns that can be scanned with the help of a smart device. There you go! They claim that you own a smartphone or a tablet, so this business has been started with a precise target audience in mind.

Multiple such dot patterns are placed on the surface of the pajamas, so one night you could read your kid a story that sits on his chest, while on another night you could go for the one on his left leg. Now the next time he misses a story, he won’t have to go to the library anymore. Teaching him to open the dresser drawer will suffice.

The Smart PJs will be available for $25, but there has been no mention of the retailers carrying them. At least the price is not abominable. If you want your child to be normal, please read him bedtime stories yourself, or at least teach him how to read. He will definitely enjoy that more than hearing some other voice right before falling asleep.

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