After putting countless zombies out of their misery, one really works up a hunger. With this new Zombie Jerky, you can enjoy the delicacy that only the undead can provide. Oh, plus you can totally gross out your friends, so that’s nice. Zombie killing is hard work. Whether you’re hacking through them with a machete, bashing brains in with a baseball bat, or lugging the bodies to a bonfire, it takes a lot out of you. What’s worse is that as you sit there and watch the bodies of the undead burn, you’re reminded of the good old days when you used to barbecue. Yes, you’ve reached the point where the smell of burning zombie flesh makes your mouth water, and once you’ve reached that point there’s no turning back. Fortunately, there’s no reason to turn back, since you can turn that delicious zombie meat into jerky so it will stay fresh (so to speak) as you continue your work.
Sadly, there has not yet been a zombie apocalypse, but don’t despair! Zombies are raised on farms and while one day they will break loose and spread their horrific plague across the globe, for now they can be slaughtered methodically for foodstuff. ThinkGeek is sharing the bounty with us by selling Zombie Jerky on their website. Packaged in a container to make it look like a medical specimen, this jerky is coated with green splotches which any zombie meat connoisseur will tell you are where the flavor comes from. Alright, so it’s actually teriyaki beef jerky with artificial green coloring, but does it really matter? After all, teriyaki beef jerky is the best kind, and it’s sure to tide you over until you can get your hands on the real stuff.
The jerky may not look pretty, but that’s the point; you get to gross out your friends while you enjoy sweet, delicious teriyaki beef jerky, all while daydreaming about the zombie apocalypse. ThinkGeek will provide you with your protein-rich zombie snack for $4.99. If you want to take things even more seriously (or less seriously, depending on how you look at it) then make sure to also have this Zombie Attack Hoodie to wear and a Left 4 Dead Cake for dessert.
