Five Sick Simpsons Skateboards

Recipe of the day at Walyou, for the nerdy crowd with an interest in cruising through life with style: Take two pop culture items that have managed to retain their appeal throughout the years to the point of becoming full-fledged staples, and combine them to create a series of wicked rides for the geeky lady and gent. You could pick from a list any number of ingredients that’d suit the criteria, but few would turn out a final dish as delish looking as these Simpsons skateboards.

The following were recently released by Santa Cruz Skateboards, a well-known and nigh-legendary equipment and outfit company that is synonymous with great quality and awesome design among the skateboarding community, and are licensed by 2oth Century Fox. If we’re gonna get technical it should be noted they aren’t skateboards per se: They’re “cruzers,” more akin to, though not the same as, longboards (i.e. they’re not exactly fit to perform tricks on, but rather more suitable for cruising, racing, sliding down hills, etc.).  The array of colors on display here and the wacky motives are very reminiscent of the delirious world of Springfield we’ve all come to love.

Bart Simpson Skull Cruzer

Bart Simpson, everyone’s favorite enfant terrible, is a life-long purveyor of the skateboarding arts. If we were to conduct a little research, it’s likely that upon the mention of Bart he would immediately present himself perched atop a skateboard in most people’s mind’s eye. There was even a Simpsons video game a few years back that exploited this trait and a memorable scene in The Simpsons Movie in which he skateboards (almost) naked. It makes sense then for him to finally have a deck that was conceived in his honor and which basically replicates the one he rides in the show. The outline of his iconic, rectangular-shaped, spiky head has been hybridized here with that of a skull and crossbones; quite an accurate representation of his caustic antics and personality.

Homer Simpson-Shaped Cruzer

This is probably the craziest of the bunch and my personal favorite. It’s wide and popsicle shaped, with cut-ins that follow the contour of Homer’s head and upper torso. The top presents us with a tie-wearing, more professional-looking Homer (wait, what?), while quite fittingly, the underbelly shows him like his usual self, sans formal apparel and with an ear-to-ear, toothy grin like the one he’d wear after calling out someone for being a neeeeeeeerd (We love him anyway.) The most striking thing about this cruzer, however, may not be the custom contour. I’d lean more towards the donut graphic 54mm Road Rider wheels, aw yeah. Tasty.

Homer One (Rob Roskopp) Cruzer

For the Santa Cruz-initiated this one will make instant sense, so here’s a brief guide for the non: One of Santa Cruz’s best known series is the Rob Roskopp series (Roskopp was a skateboarding star in the 80s and he used to be part of Santa Cruz’s professional team). The “Rob One” skateboard featured a graphic designed by Jim Phillips, in which a hand is seen breaking through a seemingly glassy target and reaching for the O in “Rob” (Here‘s some visual aid). As a part of the Simpsons series, the graphic has been parodied accordingly. It is Homer’s arm that cracks the target this time and, blood and all, reaches for the O in “Simpsons” … because it looks like a donut, of course. The deck comes in two formats: A mini cruzer (8.3×26 in size) and a full sized cruzer (10×31.4). The full size will be available for a limited time and comes with a full color poster of the graphic.

Duff Pintail Cruzer

On to the item most commonly associated with Homer, right after donuts, or perhaps on a par with them: Duff beer. This board is built off the pintail Cruzer shape that’s now a classic within Santa Cruz products. It features the “Can’t Get Enough Of That Wonderful Duff” slogan, a Duff can graphic on the grip, metallic ink and a bottle opener built into the deck – how appropriate is that! If he were prone to partake in any sort of athletic activity Homer would be riding this one straight to Moe’s tavern. Seeing as he’s not so inclined, though, truth is he’d probably end up trying to rip the can off the back to drink from it, in keeping with his customary brainy schemes. Speaking of beer cans, there’s one last skateboard in the series, also an homage to Springfield’s most advertised alcoholic beverage.

Duff Can Cruzer

Much in the style of the Homer Simpson-shaped deck, this one’s wide and comfortable to ride on and it takes on the appearance of a huge can of Duff. Santa Cruz expects all of these to appeal not only to Simpson fans but also hardcore skaters – though naturally there’s quite a few people out there who are in fact both. The decks would certainly make incredible collector’s items even if they weren’t functional, but the company assures they are. Moreover, the designs are varied and there’s a pervading sense of humor to them that is just so darn agreeable. All in all, finding a fault with these is a head-scratch-inducing sort of task … but I can think of one: There should be more. Luckily Santa Cruz got ahead of me and they also announced more models will be incorporated to the series over time. D’oh.