Star Wars has had some pretty wacky licensed products in the past, like the Tauntaun sleeping bag and the Darth Vader robotic arm, but this one is in a league of its own. I mean, the only part of it that’s uniquely Star Wars is the packaging; one bag of dark roasted coffee beans is generally much like the next, as the distinct flavour of the bean disappears once it’s fully roasted.
This lack of distinction is probably reflected in the price – $14.99 – which is not only very low for a licensed product, but low for specialty-grade coffee in general, which is free from defects that might make your coffee taste a bit off or sour. You might pay double that for a name-brand bag of beans, so this is actually a pretty great deal if you’re a fan of coffee and Star Wars. The coffee itself is a blend of three coffees and two roasts, and it’s described as being sharp and full-bodied with smoky and spicy undertones.
You should also be careful if you’re thinking of using any Light Side creamer; you don’t want to have any internal good/evil conflicts, do you? The Dark Side Roast Coffee is meant to be enjoyed black and bitter, just like any good Sith Lord – but I’m sure no one will notice if you add a bit of sugar to sweeten things up. Evil can be sweet, after all.
Bringing this coffee to work could have humourous side-effects; for example, convincing your co-workers that you’re a Dark Lord of the Sith. You could also put this roast in the office coffee machine and stand around, laughing maniacally every time an innocent passer-by fills their cup up with the evil brew. This might be harder to convey without appearing crazy, unless you hold up the bag to them as explanation. In the end, it’s probably best to keep this to yourself at home, where you can practice your devilish laugh without getting any strange looks.