Halloween is coming, and geeks should start getting ready. We love having an excuse to dress up, and have some fun, and even though Halloween means liberation and doing whatever you want, there are certain boundaries that should not be crossed. Don’t get us wrong, our favorite part of Halloween is definitely the costumes, but just because October is coming to an end, it doesn’t mean you get to disregard fashion, good taste, and sense of humor and timing. Let’s analyze some things you would do well in skipping.
Jersey Shore Costumes
What is this, 2009? Is this joke still going? A bunch of people, early viewers, used to like Jersey Shore in an ironic kind of way, like when something is so bad it’s good, but then, people started realizing that other people were really into the show and characters. Fastforward a year and some months and now some of us would rather get stabbed than being seen anywhere around these.
The much better alternative: You like Italian-American stereotypes? Why not go for the ones that are really awesome, and can kick a lot of ass? Of course, we’re talking about the Gangster Costume.
The Joker from “Dark Knight Returns”
We get it, you loved “Dark Knight Returns”. So did everyone else in the world, but we swear that if we hear someone utter “Why so serious?” one more time, we might finally snap. This just screams over-played at its purest form: already a couple years old, but still very present in people’s minds. Let’s face it: dressing as The Joker right now is simply annoying, we’ve all seen the movie 2-3 times at least, and there’s nothing unique about it.
The much better alternative: “Dark Knight Returns” upped the ante when it comes to super-hero movies, and ever since then, we’ve had some high-quality feature films with some kickass evil guys. If you’re bent on being a villain, you could try Red Skull from the Captain America movie or the Norse god Loki, from Thor.
Captain Jack Sparrow / Any Other Pirate
This happens every year, whether or not a new Pirates of the Caribbean movie airs. Guys, unless you are Johnny Depp (in which case, hi, Mr. Depp, we’re huge fans!), you’re just gonna disappoint some ladies by wearing this. Let’s face it, most of us would probably be better off dressing as a music pirate. Behold my torrents.
The Better Alternative: If you’re bent on tributing Depp’s characters, try some other less known characters, but just as cool as Sparrow. We mean, characters from Sweney Todd, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, or go old school with Edward Scissorhands.
Marilyn Monroe Costume
Similar to the Jack Sparrow one, we see this one every year. But, as opposed to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, she hasn’t had a movie out in like 50 years. Seriously, let go. She was insanely talented, and an icon of her time, but surely your list of awesome, talented females doesn’t end there, right? Right?
The Better Alternative: Some female icon ideas: how about Janis Joplin, or two of Uma Thurman’s most well known roles, The Bride from Kill Bill, or Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction?
Steve Jobs Costume
Too soon. Seriously, too soon. And we know that no matter what we say here, we’re gonna see a bunch of zombie Steve’s or just regular Steves this Halloween, just like it happened with Michael Jackson. Scratch this idea, move on. Recently dead celebrities costume are the worst.
The Better Alternative: Anything else, really. This is poor taste and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking about doing it.
Twillight Characters Costume
We have to break a myth: Vampires, werewolves, and Gothic chicks were never cool to begin with. Ever since the super-natural romance saga Twilight came out, these costumes have been a commonplace for people looking for something generic and that doesn’t require too much work, but will still get sassy looks from the ladies. Too bad most of them will be around 14 year olds. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
The Better Alternative: Why vampires? Be the vampire hunter! Pay tribute to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the Castlevania series.
Ghostface (Scream series)
The 90s called… on a cellphone. Because we’re no longer in the 90s, and most of us have cellphones. As opposed to the 90s. Get it? Anyways, it’s old, and really, really over-done. The first Scream movie is from 1996, and still, every year hordes of people dress up as Ghostface. Granted, it’s a classic, but we need to give it a rest.
The Better Alternative: You really wanna go for the Serial Killer look? Get some chainsaws! There is seriously nothing wrong with classics, but when they’re over done, they just look lame. Bring the next one back so we can complain about it next year!
Sometimes, most of the time, cheap, fast, and easy doesn’t equate “good”. But this one is particularly terrible. Besides being played out, it just doesn’t look good, wearing white like that, you’re only some inches fabric away from looking like a KKK member.
The Better Alternative: Still feel like tributing the Romans? Go for something less cliché, like the Gladiator.
We admit it, these ones are funny… for like five minutes. Then, you’ll spend the rest of the night discussing Michelle Bachman’s antics, Obama’s agenda or George Bush’s years in the White house. All while having a plastic mask stuck to your face, not letting you get a single drink in the whole night. Yay, fun! We can’t wait for the part where people will expect you to stay in character.
The Better Alternative: Most politicians and even celebrity costumes in general will require to cover your face somehow. If you can find an alternative (naturally looking like that one person, for example), go for it. Otherwise, we recommend going back to square one. You’re trying to have fun that night, keep that a priority.
Anything with “Sexy” in its name
Sexy warrior, sexy pirate, sexy ninja, sexy Indian… besides being sexist, some of these are even mildly racist. Let’s put something clear: you are supposed to be the sexy one, not the costume. “Sexy Warrior” is basically “Warrior” for women, after adding some cleavage. Come on, you can do better than this.
The Better Alternative: To avoid these, try not to go for the generic something. For example, don’t be “sexy galactic warrior”, be Princess Leia, and don’t be “generic sexy Egiptian”, but Cleopatra the queen of Nile.