10 Of The Oddest Headlines In 2011

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” 10 of the craziest news stories to hit the world in 2011.

Why am I suddenly quoting Dickens, you may ask? Well, apart from showing off my literary skills ( I jest), Dickens famous words hold true even today especially in the media frenzied world we reside in. Breaking news, twitter trends, 24/7 news channels have all resulted in a media overdose and a  surfeit of information that the mind just tucks away! However, there are some headlines that not only leave a lasting impression, but  also make you question the well-being of humanity. So without further adieu, we bring you some of the strangest headlines of 2011, that range from being hilarious to the downright bizarre.

“Woman Tried To Sneak Inmate Husband Out Of Prison In Suitcase”

Not satisfied (pardon the pun) with just a conjugal visit, 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona tried her own twisted version of Prison Break. Of course, as expected it backfired, as the police found the bulky suitcase suspicious and opened it to reveal inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the fetal position.

“17-Year-Old Sells His Kidney For iPad 2”

Why save up money when you can just sell a body part to buy the Jesus Tablet?  17-year-old high school student Zheng sold his kidney for around  $3,000 to get an iPad and now is holed up in some corner of China playing Angry Birds.

“Israeli Child Named After Facebook ‘Like’ Button”

You know your future is pretty much set in stone when your social media obsessed folks name you after the Facebook “like” button. But at least the progeny of Lior Adler and his wife Vardit will have company since their other child  is named “Pie.” The bullies will have a field day with this don’t you think?

“Woman Dies Of Heart Attack Caused By Shock Of Waking Up At Her Own Funeral”

This one is just sad and sounds right out a strange Hollywood flick. Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, who was wrongly declared dead, woke up when she heard loved ones mourning her. The shock of lying in a coffin was too much for her to take and she passed away.

“Would-be Carjackers Foiled By Stick-Shift Automobile”

Driving a stick is pain in the mmm you know what. Two would-be carjackers learnt this the hard way when they could not drive the very vehicle they car-jacked (oh the irony)! The carjackers are still on the run, and maybe the police should canvas the nearby driving schools.

“Man Shot In Head Sneezes Out Bullet”

Next time you get shot, try pulling a ‘Darco Sangermano” with the bullet, as all you have to do is sneeze out the lil bugger! Darco Sangermano sneezed the bullet out of his right nostril when it went through the right side of his head.

“Jet Man Flies In Formation Over Alps”

Is that a bird? Is that a plane? No wait its Jet Man! Mover over Super-Man, as you have some competition. Meet  Yves Rossy who built himself a custom-built jet suit and flew alongside two Albatross aircraft above the Swiss Alps.

“Thief Fell Asleep During Break-in”

It is a tough life being a thief in today’s times and you know you need to switch professions when the police gives you a wake up call!  Ryan Finley while breaking in decided to take a nap and his dream turned into a nightmare when he was woken up by the police.

“George Clooney’s Satellites Build a Case Against an Alleged War Criminal”

Mr Clooney when not acting, directing or galavanting with hot starlets also catches war criminals! No the man ain’t no super hero (though it appears to be) but his “Enough Project” was responsible for  nabbing Sudanese Defense Minister Abdelrahim Mohamed Hussei. For the uninitiated, the Satellite Sentinel Project, is a network of private spy satellites that functions as “anti-genocide paparazzi.” 

“Police Arrest Man Who Asked Neighbor If He Could Leave Body In Garbage”

Anthony Tyrone Clark did the most most unneighbourly thing one can think of. No he didn’t saunter in next door to borrow a cup of sugar, but asked his neighbors if he could dump a body in their garbage.If only Anthony Tyrone Clark had Siri at his disposable, then he would have just asked her instead of disturbing the neighbors.