10 Things I Learned From Peter Griffin

Peter Griffin, the patriarch of “Family Guy,” is far from the ideal father by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s possible to actually learn something from him.

The Bird is the Word

When Peter Griffin picked up a 45 of the 1963 hit “Surfin’ Bird” by The Trashmen, he decided the whole world had to know that the bird, was, in fact, the word, much to the dismay of Stewie and Brian.

Don’t Take Medicine Without Knowing What It Does First

When Peter figured out he could open up a tab at his pharmacist, he ordered a bunch of drugs, including several crates of syrup of ipecac. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a medicine that makes you throw up in an attempt to get rid of any poison you may have swallowed. Peter, Stewie, Brian and Chris find this one out the hard way. (Also, ipecac is much harder to obtain now. It was still available over the counter at the time the episode aired.)

How To Find Your Wallet

Lots of people have endured the frustration of losing their wallets. But those of us who are lucky enough to have cartoon talking dogs can use them to pick up our scent and find them.

Obey Your Newscaster

Peter Griffin may look all grown up, but he’s just a kid at heart. A very immature kid. Here he learns an important lesson, if Tom Tucker, the Quahog local news anchor, tells you not to eat ice cream, he means it. He’s not above using corporal punishment, either.

Get Regular Checkups

When Peter Griffin goes to the doctor, he gets a physical, which also happens to include a prostate exam. Unfortunately, no one told him what a prostate exam actually entails. This clip contains some cartoon nudity, so be careful if you’re at work, though.

How To Catch a Bullfrog

Peter may not be the world’s greatest dad by any measure, but he usually means well. He even surprises his son with a bullfrog, even making sure it can breathe by poking holes in its back.

How to Speak Italian

Peter Griffin shows how easy it is to speak Italian, or at least speaking gibberish while gesticulating wildly. All you need is a mustache.

Be Careful with Fireworks

For Americans, the Fourth of July is not only a time to celebrate our nation’s independence, but also a time to blow things up. Peter inevitably carries on the tradition, but learns fireworks safety the hard way. Protip: if you’re going to string together a bunch of M-80s, be sure you’re not holding them when they’re lit!

Add a Little Something Extra to Your Lemonade

There’s nothing like a cool glass of lemonade on a hot day. Except perhaps a cool glass of lemonade with vodka.

Be Careful in the Dark

If you’ve just had eye surgery and you happen to feel a little frisky in the middle of the night, make sure you’re in the right bed first.

How To Select the Appropriate Gift

What do you buy for your significant other when she wants a real diamond engagement ring? A horse, of course!

This is just a sampling of the life lessons you can learn from Peter Griffin and the Family Guy gang. If you like this, check out our post on some creepy Family Guy-related artwork, as well as a list of celebrities rendered in Lego, including Stewie and Brian.