There are a few different theories as to what’s required to make the perfect superhero. Some argue that you need a innate sense of justice forged in a childhood tragedy. Still others argue that it takes an uncommon will, and the ability to fight on despite the odds. Whichever superhero theory you subscribe to, the fact remains that regardless of what path you take to superherodom, you better have a smoking set of abs once you get there. Fighting crime takes a lot of strength, and heroes have to face all kinds of super challenges. Not least of which is the reality that superhero costumes are made out of the most unforgiving, evil fabric known to man … spandex.
For that reasons, superheroes tend to keep in pretty good shape. There’s a reason you don’t see chubby heroes. All the super powers in the world aren’t going to do you a lick of good if you’re constantly getting winded after taking a flight of stairs or get distracted by every KFC you pass by on the way to stop a bank robbery. Intrigued by the idea of superheroes who didn’t have rock-hard six backs and gluts you bounce a quarter off of, artist Jesus Nazarenuz has created a series of images of famous comic book characters, imagining what it would be like if they weren’t chiseled hunks of human perfection. She calls them Fat Heroes. Here are eight of the best.
Batman
Scourge of the Underworld, Protector of the Night, Fat Batman protects 24 hour donuts stores all over Gotham.
Robin
Fat Batman’s teen sidekick, Fat Robin looks like he spends a lot more time apprehending criminals with his Playstation than getting off the couch and going after real ones.
Spiderman
Fat Spiderman looks a little tougher than the skinny version, but there’s no way he’s swinging from building to building on thin spider web with this body.
Flash
He can run faster than the speed of sound, but Fat Flash just can’t seem to burn off those cupcakes.
Captain America
In the 1940s, Captain American was a tough, fit symbol for a tough, fit nation. And now, Fat Captain America is a perfect symbol for a nation a little too in love with processed meat products.
Superman
The Man of Steel becomes the Man of Spreadable Cream Cheese.
Daredevil
It’s a good thing that Fat daredevil is blind, because no person of size should have to see themselves crammed into skintight red tights.
Wolverine
Actually, Fat Wolverine doesn’t look all that bad. He’s still dangerous, and as long he can lift his massive arms to wield his razor sharp claws, who cares if he’s a little soft around the middle. Besides, do you want to be the guy who tells him to ease off the beer and chicken wings?
Ready for some more superhero mod torture? Take a look at these superhero hipster mods, or something even more scary … the Conan O’Brien superhero action figure.
